Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Of romance

Someone told me recently that romance has a shelf life of 5 years and that after that only love remains. Me thinks: What is love without romance?!

Interesting... it never occured to me that romance had an expiry date, I've always believed that romance and love go hand in hand. How sad, this notion. But then again, is it not a more realistic point of view? I dunno. Things are far greyer these days. Nevertheless, I choose to believe as I did before that one cannot separate love from romance. ;)

Anyways, my friend's statement peaked my curiosity and I Googled "what is romance?" and "is romance real?". Here're some snippets of what I found... some are hilarious!

How to be romantic (check it out here)
"...a whole ton of things are intrinsically romantic, and you should use them to your advantage..
  • Fancy Curly Things

    Flair and flourishes are romantic. Whenever you get her a greeting card, get one of the ones with all the curly pink scribbles on it. When you write her letters, make the tails of the 'g's and 'y's really long and the loops in the 'd's and 'b's and 'p's really big. That's way romantic. Notice how romantic the title banner at the top of this page is? The 'R' is particularly romantic, because it's red." [Me thinks: What?!! Are girls that guillible?]

"When you connect with and experience your own feelings while, at the same time, taking in the feelings of the one you love, you are walking straight into the open heartspace of real romance, into the special connections you make with one another, whether small and subtle or grand and brilliant." [Me thinks: I like this]

"Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Be Romantic

10. The Rose-Growers of America need your help.

9. You'll stay young-at-heart.
8. You need all the help you can get!
7. Love makes the world go'round.
6. Your partner will let you out of the Doghouse.
5. Romantics lead more interesting lives than mere mortals.
4. Why Not?
3. Your partner wants it-- What more reason do you need???
2. You'll score points with your partner's mother.
1. It will improve the quality of your life."

Share your point of view at BBC's Talking Point on the subject "Is romance dead?"


Anonymous said...

Interesting question - and coincidental as well - another friend of mine wrote on a similar topic: an excerpt

Actually, she asked a very valid question. Because we are often conditioned to think that love is all about romance and passion. The giddiness. The quickening of pulse. The lack of sleep because you are up whole night thinking of the other person.

Strangely, I have also just finished reading the book ‘Why We Love’ by Helen Fisher.

I cannot remember what exactly I said to my friend.

In her book, Helen Fisher said this, “People around the world say the exhilaration of romance wanes as their marriage or partnership becomes increasingly stable, comfortable, and secure. I have mixed feelings about this fate nature has decreed. First, many of us would die of sexual exhaustion if romantic love flourished endlessly in a relationship. We wouldn’t get to work on time or concentrate on everything except ‘him’ or ‘her’. Moreover, as romantic love matures, it often expands into hundreds of complex and fulfilling feelings of attachment that produce an enormously intricate, interesting, and emotionally rewarding union with another living soul.”

I guess, if I were to answer my friend again, I would say, “For Jamie and I, the chemistry is not gone. Strange as it may sound, it has become stronger. It might no longer exist in the same form that it was when we first met. But it has evolved. To stand the test of time.”

what do you think?

;) p a t t

pumpkin said...

Heya Patt, interesting profession your friend has! :)

I don't think romance dies, I've seen in the way older couples interact with each other and in the way they behave. But I do agree that it's no longer just a feeling, it becomes more than that - a state of mind an intention and yes, it becomes less superficial and somehow fuses with love (sacrificial and challenging) to be come something that binds the relationship to stand the test of time.

Nah, it doesn't have a shelf life. ;) My 2 cents worth.

Over to you!

Anonymous said...

yea - she's so cool - 3 branches already! And several weddings :)

as for romance - I don't think that it should die - ideally its what you have described - mature...hoepfulyl with little pops of giddiness every now and then :)

unfortunately, i think it takes work. So easy to just lie back relax adn get comfy...

pumpkin said...

hehehe, yups, but the effort's well worth it yah! ;)